Thursday, July 19, 2012

Truly mindless wanderings.

Sometimes I like to blog about controversial things.  I really like to wait until a situation falls into my lap that I feel so strongly about that it's all I can do not to run to a computer and start tapping my thoughts onto the screen for the whole world to see.  And there's plenty of controversial shenanigans out there to blog about...there's health care bills causin' a ruckus; presidential candidates gettin' people's panties all in a wad; sexual orientation parades runnin' through the streets causin' people to just about have a heart attack whether they have anything to do with it or not; our pets HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!!! (OK, that last part was a little out there, but for all you that caught onto it...I applaud you.  I also apologize for goin' a little country on ya'll least I used correct punctuation.)

Anyway...where was I?  Oh yes.  The purpose of this blog.  Nothing.  I'm really playing into this whole "mindless wanderings" thing and letting you all know some of the thoughts I have about the real current events I think about...ones that matter.

*steps onto soap box*

1.  Someone should write a book (with pictures preferably) on what to do and what not to do after a gentleman or lady, whom you have absolutely no interest in, buys you a drink at a bar or other social gathering.  Oh, you want the background of why I first pondered this?  Ok, Ok, settle down.  So I don't get hit on a lot.  I choose to believe it's because I'm toting around this big ol' rock on my wedding ring finger, so it blinds and intimidates men and they say "Gah, won't even waste my time with that foxy, married lady."  Regardless, a few weeks ago I was at a bar and after setting down my money to pay for my way over-priced glass of wine, the bartender says: "Gentleman over there got your drink for you."  I peek over my shoulder to find a very nicely dressed, well-groomed...senior citizen winking at me. I merely thanked him repeatedly (probably awkwardly so) and scooted away to my sister.  Comments welcome on what I should have done, or if what I did do was appropriate enough.  Either way....if you are extremely confident in your answer, hit a sista up and let's get to work on this little tell-tale.  We could be billionaires.

2.  I don't understand the whole "take a picture of yourself and post it to Facebook/Instagram/some-other-social-medium and put a caption that makes it seem like you're not just trying to get comments on how good you look."  These pictures come in all different forms, all of which are equally irritating.  For the record: if you take a picture of yourself (face or full-body shot) and post a caption in the ballpark of any of the following: "Just went for a run"; "Happy Tuesday!"; "Just being goofy"; "Look, I got a new bikini! Beach ready!"; "I look horrible without makeup"; or anything relative, give it up.  We know you are just trying to get comments on how hot you are, or how you have such a good body, etc.  It is vain.  I realize pictures are a good way to make sure you look OK when there's not a mirror or especially reflective window around, but if you must do so, please keep it to yourself.  If for no other reason than because it annoys me.  Also, for the record...pouting your lips out and opening up your eyes really big, and only doing so when you happen to have a full face of makeup and a perfectly in-place hair-do does NOT constitute making a funny face, and is therefore, one of the most annoying types of said pictures.  THIS is a funny face:

3. This one will be short: If you ever use a Groupon, coupon, discount, deal, promotion, or the like, at a restaurant....tip on what the total would have been.  If you rack up $45.00 worth of food and have some sweet deal where you only have to pay $2.00, tipping $0.40 is not a good tip just because it's 20%.  If you don't follow me...go work in a restaurant, have that exact same thing happen to you, and then you'll understand.

4.  This happens to me all the time lately, probably more often than usual because I've just now become conscious of it.  I find myself frequently walking into a building and about 10 steps before I get to the door, I "merge" with someone coming from another direction.  We then begin walking in stride together, going for the same goal (in this case, a door), and I find myself pausing each time wondering: do we walk in side by side?  If it is a small door, do I wait and let them walk in first, or just go for it and hope they pause?  If I wait, and they wait, it's like that awkward moment at an intersection when you both come to the stop sign at the exact same moment and both wave each other on at the exact same moment and then when you decide "forget it, I'll just go," they are thinking the same thing and they start to go, and then you both brake so the other will go, and then you both get mad at each other because you both want to just GO...and it's all just very uncomfortable.  And I need an answer on how to fix it.  There has to be some rule book out there that addresses this kind of thing.

That's really all I have for now.  If you have stuck with this post 'til the end and find yourself wondering why you ever clicked on that silly link in the first place, and feel this was just a waste of time....I encourage you to go try to walk the opposite way up an escalator in less than 10 seconds and realize that that is a waste of time.

*steps off soap box, even though it was nice and cozy up there*

1 comment:

  1. Well done. One of my favorite posts yet, for many underlying reasons.